Top Parenting Info: Be Consistent

A consistent approach is pivotal to successfully teaching a son or daughter right from wrong when punishing them. It prevents small misdeeds and poor conduct from turning into greater misdeeds. You have to remain unwavering and mean it when you ask them, ”Switch off your computer now””or “no dessert after dinner because you didn’t touch your dinner”.

A consistent approach shows your son or daughter there are express effects for misdeeds and improper or unsatisfactory deeds or manners.

Displaying a lack of consistency when punishing makes you directly accountable for for your children’s misdeeds and will not teach them how to be liable for their exploits.

It’s also necessary that each partner is consistent with the discipline. If one parent is firm and the other is too forgiving, the son or daughter will key into that and attempt to manipulate the position to his or her advantage. Parents must be in agreement on disciplinary code beforehand and make a commitment to each other to be consistent in carrying out and following through with the consequences. This can be especially difficult if the child’s parents are divorced or separated. Though you are not living together, it’s crucial that both parents have a united ground. Openly and honestly agree these parameters with your former spouse and your son or daughter in advance, so that if any disciplinary action is called for, the effect of such misdeeds are fully realized in advance.

Any disagreements between parents should bedebated when the child is not present.

Being consistent refers to being resolute, even when doing so is really demanding or gruelling. It can sometimes be difficult to arrive home after a long day at work only to find a challenging evening of parenting in store for you.

Your son or daughter will consistently probe the parameters and ‘push the envelope’ with you to see if there’s any play in those consequences. By being resolute you are establishing there is not and that you demand them to do nothing less than assume the burden for their deeds.

當(dāng)你因自己的兒子或女兒做了錯(cuò)事而懲罰他們時(shí)，堅(jiān)定是至關(guān)重要的。它能預(yù)防小錯(cuò)變大。但是你一定要保持堅(jiān)定，即當(dāng)你對他們說：“現(xiàn)在，關(guān)了你的電腦。”或者“因?yàn)槟銢]碰你的晚餐，你飯后不許吃甜點(diǎn)。”

堅(jiān)定的教育之道會(huì)讓你的兒子或女兒知道，在他們做了錯(cuò)事，做了不適當(dāng)?shù)呐e止或不令人滿意的行為之后，你會(huì)立刻有相應(yīng)的反應(yīng)。

如果你教育時(shí)缺乏堅(jiān)定的態(tài)度，你要直接為你孩子的錯(cuò)誤行為負(fù)責(zé)，你也無法教會(huì)他們?nèi)绾螢樽约旱男袨樨?fù)責(zé)。

父母對規(guī)矩的態(tài)度保持一致也是十分必要的。如果父母中的一位很堅(jiān)定而另一個(gè)太過寬容，兒子或女兒會(huì)鉆此空子并試圖利用這種優(yōu)勢加以操縱。父母必須事先對規(guī)矩達(dá)成一致，并相互承諾在實(shí)行時(shí)也步調(diào)相同，將相應(yīng)的懲治結(jié)果實(shí)行到底。這實(shí)施起來對于離異的父母而言尤其困難。雖然你們不住在一起，但是父母間口徑一致是十分關(guān)鍵的。事先就此直接并誠實(shí)地與你的前人配偶達(dá)成一致，并告知你們的兒子或女兒，一旦他們做了破壞規(guī)矩的行為，懲治的效果就能充分實(shí)現(xiàn)。

父母間任何的意見相左必須在孩子不在場時(shí)加以討論。

堅(jiān)定意味著要有決心，即使如此做需要很多心力，十分繁重。有時(shí)這真的很困難：勞累了一天回到家中，發(fā)現(xiàn)在家中，等待著你的是挑戰(zhàn)――一晚上你都要去教育自己的孩子。

你的兒子或女兒會(huì)不停的探視懲罰的界限，想從你這里知道與此有關(guān)的事項(xiàng)，來看看做了這些事會(huì)有什么結(jié)果。有堅(jiān)定的決心，你會(huì)讓他們知道你并沒有特別要求他們什么，只想讓他們知道他們要為自己的行為負(fù)責(zé)。