To Boddah pronounced Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile camplainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the exitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn't affect the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can't fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, pisces Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know. I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be. Full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter. Please keep going Courtney For Frances For her life which will be so much happier without me. I Love you. I love you!

致巴達(dá)：

這是一個(gè)飽經(jīng)滄桑的傻子發(fā)出的聲音，他其實(shí)更愿做個(gè)柔弱而孩子氣的訴苦人。這張條子應(yīng)該很容易理解。所有的警告都來自于這些年來的‘朋克搖滾101’，自從我第一次介入那包含著獨(dú)立性、應(yīng)當(dāng)稱為道德原則的東西之后，你們團(tuán)結(jié)一致的擁戴已證明是非常真實(shí)的。我已經(jīng)好多年都不能從聽音樂，寫音樂以及讀和寫東西中感到激奮了。對于這些事我感到了一種難以形諸文字的負(fù)罪感。比如說，但我們來到后臺(tái)，燈火熄滅，人們狂躁的咆哮響起，這一切對我的影響就遠(yuǎn)不如對Freddy Mercury(“QUEEN”樂隊(duì)主唱，1991年因艾滋病辭世。)影響那么大，，他似乎喜歡而且把玩那些從人群中而來的愛與贊美――那正是我贊賞與嫉妒的一切。

事實(shí)上我無法欺騙你們，無法欺騙你們中的任何一人。那對你對我都不公平。我能想起的最大罪惡便是欺騙人們，裝模作樣，做出一副我100%地快樂的樣子。

有時(shí)候我似乎應(yīng)當(dāng)在出場之前有臺(tái)打卡機(jī)。我盡了我全部的力量去喜歡這一切，我的確也喜歡。但這還不夠。我喜歡這一事實(shí)，即我和我們樂隊(duì)感染和款待了不少人。我太敏感了。我必須清度麻醉才能重獲我在孩提時(shí)代曾有過的熱情。在我們最后的三次巡演中，我對所結(jié)識(shí)的所有的人和我們音樂的歌迷都有了更多的欣賞，但我還是無法克服我對每個(gè)人都抱有挫折感、負(fù)罪感和同情。在我們所有人中都有善意，我就是太愛人們了!愛的太多以至于讓我感到真的太他媽憂郁，一個(gè)略為憂郁的、敏感的、不領(lǐng)情的、雙魚座的耶穌式的人物!

我有一個(gè)女神般的妻子，她為理想和打動(dòng)人而拼命努力，我還有個(gè)女兒，她

讓我回憶起我的很多過去，她對那些她遇到的人致以全部的愛和快樂的吻，因?yàn)槊總€(gè)人都那么好，而且不會(huì)對她有任何傷害。這也讓我驚恐萬分，以至于我只會(huì)瞠目結(jié)舌。我沒法容忍那種想法，就是弗蘭西絲將變成象我這樣自我毀滅、走向絕路的搖滾歌手。

我快樂的擁有一切，非?？鞓?。我充滿感激。可自打我7歲以來，我總的來說就對人類充滿了仇視，僅僅因?yàn)槿藗兯坪跆^容易地友好相處，而且還會(huì)同情，同情!僅僅因?yàn)槲矣X得自己對人們有太多的愛與同情。從我那燃燒而令人欲嘔的胃之深處感激你們所有的人，感激你們在過去歲月里所有的來信和關(guān)心。我是個(gè)太過反常和抑郁的小子!我已經(jīng)沒有任何激情了，所以要記住“與其茍延殘喘，不如從容燃燒!”

和平，愛，同情。