相信大家都會(huì)遇到這樣的情況:你和一個(gè)剛見(jiàn)面的陌生人聊天,在問(wèn)完諸如"What do you do?"(你做什么工作?),"Where do you live?"(你住哪里?)這樣的常規(guī)問(wèn)題后,對(duì)話(huà)便陷入了僵局,你們都沉默著,不知道繼續(xù)說(shuō)什么……
個(gè)人認(rèn)為,通常讓對(duì)話(huà)持續(xù)進(jìn)行下去的最好辦法是懷有了解新事物的愿望。有沒(méi)有意識(shí)到你每次問(wèn)別人問(wèn)題,都是在獲取新的認(rèn)識(shí)。就算是像"Where did you buy that from?"(那東西在哪里買(mǎi)的?),"What’s the weather going to be on the weekend?"(周末天氣如何?)這樣簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題,你也是在增長(zhǎng)知識(shí)。如果你懷有了解新事物的愿望,那么你就會(huì)對(duì)其他人的生活以及他們所擅長(zhǎng)的話(huà)題充滿(mǎn)興趣。
如果你尚且無(wú)法找到你們之間共同的愛(ài)好和話(huà)題,那么這里介紹幾種簡(jiǎn)單的技巧,幫助你讓對(duì)話(huà)持續(xù)進(jìn)行下去:
1. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat 重復(fù)重復(fù)再重復(fù)
以提問(wèn)的方式重復(fù)別人的最后一句話(huà),這種技巧可以稱(chēng)之為“鸚鵡學(xué)舌”。因?yàn)槊總€(gè)人都喜歡就自己感興趣的方面展開(kāi)話(huà)題,如果你重復(fù)他們已經(jīng)說(shuō)的話(huà),就等于為他們的個(gè)人愛(ài)好“煽風(fēng)點(diǎn)火”。
Example:
You: What did you get up to on the weekend.
你:周末干嘛去了?
Him: Went to the ball game on Saturday.
他:周六去看球賽了。
You: You went to the game on Saturday?
你:你周六去看球賽啦?
Him: Yeh, I did, took my son along for his first game. But it was good to see my team win!
他:是啊,帶我兒子去看了他人生第一場(chǎng)球賽。不過(guò)很高興我們隊(duì)獲勝了!
You: So it was good to see the team win?
你:所以說(shuō)球隊(duì)獲勝了讓你很高興吧?
Him: Yeh, they have been struggling a lot lately, and had lots of injuries.
他:是啊,他們近期一直很努力,為此受了很多傷。
想想用這種辦法你能聊多久!
2. Become a word spy 注意他人的用詞
你需要注意聽(tīng)對(duì)方說(shuō)到的一些詞,然后鎖定一個(gè)目標(biāo),作為接下去的問(wèn)題或話(huà)題。
Example:
大多數(shù)人都遇到過(guò)那種說(shuō)話(huà)只說(shuō)幾個(gè)字,看上去態(tài)度很粗魯?shù)娜税伞?/p>
You: So been busy today?
你:今天很忙吧?
Him: Yes. (one word answer)
他:是。(一個(gè)字)
You: How’s the weather today? Pretty wet, isn’t it?
你:今天天氣怎么樣?挺潮濕的不是嗎?
Him: Yes, but the farmers will stop complaining. (again in the rude voice)
他:是,但是農(nóng)民們不會(huì)再抱怨了。(仍然是粗魯?shù)恼Z(yǔ)氣)
很多人大概會(huì)繼續(xù)問(wèn)些無(wú)聊的問(wèn)題,但是你應(yīng)該抓住他所提到的farmer這個(gè)詞。
You: You know some farmers, don’t you?
你:你認(rèn)識(shí)一些農(nóng)民不是嗎?
Him: Yes, I actually grew up on a farm. (his tone of voice gradually starting to change)
他:是啊,其實(shí)我在農(nóng)場(chǎng)上長(zhǎng)大。(語(yǔ)氣逐漸轉(zhuǎn)變)
You: So did I. Where was you farm?
你:我也是的。你家農(nóng)場(chǎng)在哪兒?
從這里開(kāi)始,對(duì)話(huà)就能繼續(xù)進(jìn)行下去了。
給大家的提示:人在交談中遇到自己感興趣的事物時(shí),就不會(huì)用一兩個(gè)字打發(fā)過(guò)去。你就需要去發(fā)現(xiàn)這一點(diǎn),找到他們的興趣所在,點(diǎn)燃談話(huà)熱情。
3. Eavesdrop 偷聽(tīng)
這個(gè)技巧從字面本身就可以理解了吧,在你想要向陌生人(比如和你同一領(lǐng)域的商業(yè)大腕,想要認(rèn)識(shí)的知名人士,甚至是可愛(ài)的女孩子)介紹自己時(shí)可以運(yùn)用。你只需在一旁?xún)A聽(tīng)他同別人都談些什么,估測(cè)這人的興趣所在。如果發(fā)現(xiàn)某個(gè)自己可以參與的話(huà)題,那就是你上場(chǎng)的時(shí)候了。
Example:
你聽(tīng)到他們說(shuō)起法國(guó)之旅,你可以走過(guò)去說(shuō):
I couldn’t help but overhear you were going to head to Paris later in the summer, I am actually a big fan of the city and have been there several times myself.
我無(wú)意中聽(tīng)到你們說(shuō)在夏天晚些時(shí)候要去巴黎,事實(shí)上我超喜歡那座城市,而且已經(jīng)去過(guò)幾次了。
這樣就是一個(gè)很好的開(kāi)始,而且足以讓對(duì)話(huà)進(jìn)行下去。