你是否窘于說“不”?你是否總是善待他人卻忽視了自己的意愿?我們中國(guó)人許多時(shí)候由于礙著“面子”而使有些問題的解決停滯不前。這篇文章是一位美國(guó)人寫的，都說美國(guó)人直接，其實(shí)也有很多考慮的。文中的一些建議我們可以借鑒一下，有時(shí)候拒絕就是拒絕，不同意就是不同意，沒有太多言外之意，這能很好地解決拖延，誠(chéng)信，效率的問題。
Do you have difficulty saying "no"? Are you always trying to be nice to others at the expense of yourself?
Well, you’re not alone. In the past, I was not good at saying "no", because I didn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.
For example, whenever I get requests for help, I would attend to them even though I had important work to do. Sometimes the requests would drag to 2-3 hours or even beyond. At the end of the day, I would forgo sleep to catch up on my work. This problem of not knowing how to say "no" also extended to my clients, business associates and even sales people.
After a while, I realized all these times of not saying "no" (when I should) were not helping me at all. I was spending a lot of time and energy for other people and not spending nearly as much time for myself. It was frustrating especially since I brought it upon myself. I slowly realized if I wanted personal time, I needed to learn to say "no".
If you are not sure how to do so, here are 7 simple ways for you to say no. Use the method that best meets your needs in the situation.
1. "I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment."
If you are too busy to engage in the request/offer, this will be applicable. This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment, so he/she should hold off on this as well as future requests. If it makes it easier, you can also share what you’re working on so the person can understand better. I use this when I have too many commitments to attend to.
2. "Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?"
It’s common to get sudden requests for help when you are in the middle of something. Sometimes I get phone calls from friends or associates when I’m in a meeting or doing important work. This method is a great way to (temporarily) hold off the request. First, you let the person know it’s not a good time as you are doing something. Secondly, you make known your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.
3. "I’d love to do this, but …"
I often use this as it’s a gentle way of breaking no to the other party. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea (of course, only say this if you do like it) and there’s nothing wrong about it. I often get collaboration proposals from fellow bloggers and business associates which I can’t participate in and I use this method to gently say no. Their ideas are absolutely great, but I can’t take part due to other reasons such as prior commitments (#1) or different needs (#5).
