Welcome to Our Bank

開門揖盜實為監守自盜

"I wish Central Bank would be robbed," George Pickens said to himself. He had been making this wish daily from the time he had started work as a teller at the bank.

All over the country banks were being robbed, George thought. Why not this bank? Were robbers scornful of its four-million-dollar capital? Were they afraid of Mr. Ackerman, the old bank guard, who hadn’t pulled out his gun in twenty-two years?

Of course George had a reason for wanting the bank to be robbed. After all, he couldn’t simply take the thick bundles of bills that were under his hands all day long. So he had thought of another way to get them. His plan was simple. It went like this:

If Bank Robber A holds up Bank Teller B

And if Bank Teller B gives Bank Robber A a certain amount of money

What is to prevent Bank Teller B from keeping all the money left and claiming that it was stolen by Bank Robber A?

There was only one problem. Where was Bank Robber A?

One morning George entered the bank feeling something was about to happen. "Good morning, Mr. Burrows." He said cheerfully. The bank president said something in a low voice and went into his office.

At two o’clock Bank Robber A walked in. George knew he was a bank robber. For one thing, be slipped in. For another thing, be wore a mask.

"This is a holdup," the man said roughly. He took a pistol from his pocket. The guard made a small sound. "You," the bank robber said, "lie down on the floor." Mr. Ackerman lay down. The robber stepped over to George’s cage.

"All right," he said. "Hand it over."

"Yes, sir," said George. "Would you like it in ten- or twenty-dollar bills?"

"Just hand it over!"

George reached into his cashbox and took all the bills from the top section--close to six thousand dollars. He passed them through the window. The robber snatched them, put them into his pocket, and turned to leave.

Then, while everyone watched Bank Robber A, Bank Teller B calmly lifted off the top section of the cashbox and slipped bills from the bottom section into his pockets.

The door swung and the bank robber was gone. George fainted. When he woke he smiled up at the worried faces looking down at him. "I’m all right," he said bravely.

“要是中央銀行被搶了該多好，”喬治·皮肯斯自言自語道。自從在銀行里開始擔任出納員之日起，他就每天都琢磨著要實現這個愿望。

(2)喬治想，全國所有的銀行都被搶過，為什么唯獨這家銀行沒被搶呢？強盜們是看不上這400萬元的資本嗎？他們是害怕這家銀行的老門衛阿克曼先生嗎？他22年來從沒有掏出過他的槍。

(3）當然，喬治想要這家銀行被搶是有個理由的。畢竟，他不能輕易地拿走整天價打他手頭點過的成捆成捆的厚厚的鈔票。因而他已想出了另一個弄到錢的辦法。他的計劃很簡單。就像這樣：

如果銀行搶劫犯A以武力威脅銀行的出納員B……

而且如果銀行出納員B給銀行搶劫犯A一筆相當可觀的錢……

什么會阻止銀行出納員B留下剩下的那些錢而宣稱都被銀行搶劫犯A搶走了呢？

只有一個問題。銀行搶劫犯A在哪里呢？

(4)一天早晨，喬治走進銀行，感到有什么事情將要發生。“早上好，伯羅斯先生。”他興高采烈地說道。行長低聲說了句什么就進了辦公室。

(5)下午兩點鐘，銀行搶劫犯A進來了。喬治知道他是一個銀行搶劫犯。因為，第一，他是溜進來的；第二，他戴了一個面具。

〔6〕“這是一次持槍搶劫，”這人粗暴地說道。他從口袋里掏出一支手槍。門衛發出了一點小小的聲音。“你，”銀行搶劫犯說道，“躺到地上。”阿克曼先生躺了下去。搶劫犯跨步來到喬治有柵窗的工作間。 “好了，”他說。“把錢交出來。”

“是的，先生。”喬治答道。“您愿意要10元一張的還是20元一張的？”

“都交出來！”

〔7)喬治把手伸進現金柜里，從上層格子中取出所有的鈔票一將近6000元。他將錢由窗口遞了出來。搶劫犯一把抓過錢，放入口袋，然后轉身就走。

(8)就在人們都注視著銀行搶劫犯A時，銀行出納員B卻悄悄地提起現金柜上層的格子，把柜子下層的鈔票偷偷地塞入了他自己的口袋中。

(9)門轉了一下，銀行搶劫犯走了。喬治暈了過去。他醒來時，仰望著那些焦急地瞅著他的人們笑了笑。“我沒事，”他勇敢地表示道。