Being Your Best: Stop Comparing and Start Running

If you want to drain your mental energy, there is one easy way to do so: compare yourself with others. Comparing yourself with others will only give you two things: either you feel proud when you are above, or you feel jealous and intimidated when you are below. As you can see, both are negative emotions that won’t do you any good.

Unfortunately, our culture is full of comparisons. People like to compare themselves with others.

While some people may say that comparing is a way to motivate themselves, I think there is a better way to do that without draining our mental energy. Here it is:

Find a role model and use him as a pacer.

A role model is someone whose quality and achievements you admire. It’s no secret that the way to be great is by emulating those who are great. By finding the right role model, you will have concrete example of the qualities you want to achieve. Since those qualities are now tangible, it will be much easier for you to run after them. By selecting the right role model and running after him, you will quickly improve yourself.

Here are some steps to apply this principle:

1. Stop looking at others’ statistics

This is the way to stop comparing yourself with others. I know this is not easy to do since we have the tendency to compare ourselves with others. But, as I’ve said above, this will only drain your mental energy. So resist the temptation to look at others’ statistics for comparison sake.

2. Look around for someone whom you want to emulate

Instead of comparing, you should find someone you want to emulate. This is perhaps the most difficult step here because it’s not easy to find the right role model. Your role model should:

have significant achievements that you want to emulate (in this case, you do need to look at his statistics).

not so far ahead that you can’t realistically hope to run after him

have performed well consistently for long time

have other characteristics that are similar to you or your situation.

The last point is important. There are perhaps some persons who have the achievements you want, but - looking at their characteristics - they are very different from you. In that case, it will be too difficult and unnatural to emulate them. The more similar their characteristics with yours, the more natural it will be to emulate them.

While you can choose some models to emulate, in my opinion it is better to have only one main role model. Just like having one goal make it easier for you to achieve it, having one main role model make it easier for you to emulate him. Of course, you are unique so you also need to learn from other models to find the unique combination that fits you, but still, having one main model is helpful.

3. Look closely at how your role model does things

To emulate your role model, you should find out the details of how he or she does things. Watch your role model closely. Study his work, life, and methods. Try to dissect the traits and actions that make him successful.

4. Set some actions to take based on your findings

You should then turn your findings into some actions you can take. These are the things you can do to bring you closer to your model’s achievements.

5. Set your role model’s current statistics and quality as your target

As I wrote above, your role model acts as a pacer. So set his statistics and quality as your target to run after. Of course, you should not blindly try to match the numbers. Adjust things to match your unique circumstances.

6. Aim to emulate your role model as quickly as possible

To make sure that you do not just sit down and relax, you should make a decision to run as fast as you can.

Your role model may have been ahead of you when you reach his current level of achievement, but that’s fine. The most important thing is you run as fast as you can.

如果你想耗盡你的腦力，有一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的辦法，就是把你自己和其他人比，這種比較會(huì)給你帶來(lái)兩個(gè)后果：要么在你勝人一籌的時(shí)候，你感到自豪，要么在你比上不足的時(shí)候，你感到嫉妒和羞愧。正如你所知道的，這兩種后果帶給你的都是負(fù)面情緒，對(duì)你沒有任何好處。

不幸的是，我們的文化充滿了競(jìng)爭(zhēng)。人們喜歡拿自己和別人比。

當(dāng)一些人提出和他人比較是一種激勵(lì)自己的方法的時(shí)候，我認(rèn)為有一種比其更好的方法，并且不用耗盡我們的腦力。方法如下：

找一個(gè)榜樣并且以他作為你自己的標(biāo)桿

所謂榜樣就是其身上的品質(zhì)和成就為你所敬仰。毫無(wú)疑問，成功最好的方法就是模仿成功人士。通過找到正確的榜樣，你將會(huì)塑造出你希望自己達(dá)到的形象。既然這些成功人士身上的品質(zhì)是有形的，對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)去努力效仿他們就變得容易得多了。通過選擇合適的榜樣并且努力追隨榜樣的力量，你將會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)你自己迅速的提高了。

這里有一些可以適用的原則：

1. 不要參照他人的數(shù)據(jù)

這個(gè)方法可以幫助你停止與他人進(jìn)行比較。我這道，一開始并不容易做到，因?yàn)槲覀兞?xí)慣性得把自己和他人比較。但是，正如我以上所說(shuō)的，這種比較只會(huì)耗盡我們的腦力。所以，為了避免與他人比較，拒絕這種參照他人數(shù)據(jù)的誘惑。

2. 找尋一個(gè)你的榜樣

你應(yīng)該找尋一個(gè)你所希望效仿的人而不是與他人比較。由于找尋一個(gè)合適的目標(biāo)并不簡(jiǎn)單，所以也許這點(diǎn)并是最不容易做到的。你要找到的榜樣應(yīng)該具備如下條件：

你的榜樣擁有你希望達(dá)到的重大成就(這點(diǎn)上，你需要去看一下他的數(shù)據(jù))。

你的榜樣與你的距離不至于遠(yuǎn)到，你無(wú)法到他的境界。

你的榜樣長(zhǎng)期一直表現(xiàn)杰出。

你的榜樣身上擁有一些特征，而這些特征與你或者你現(xiàn)在的情況比較相似。

最后一點(diǎn)，也是最重要的一點(diǎn)。也許，你希望自己能和有些人一樣成功，但是看一下他們身上的特征，這些特征在你身上找不到。從這個(gè)層面上講，對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)去模仿這樣的一些人是很難而且也也是不自然的。越是，你與你要效仿的人性格相近，那么你效仿起來(lái)也顯得越加自然。

當(dāng)你可以選擇一些目標(biāo)對(duì)象的時(shí)候，以我的觀點(diǎn)，最好只選取一個(gè)主要目標(biāo)。道理很簡(jiǎn)單，一個(gè)目標(biāo)易得，一個(gè)榜樣易仿。當(dāng)然，你是獨(dú)一無(wú)二的，你也可以從其他對(duì)象中找到適合你的特別組合，但是，仍然集中于一個(gè)主要對(duì)象會(huì)對(duì)你有所幫助。

3. 仔細(xì)觀察你所選定的榜樣做事的方式

為了效仿你的榜樣，你需要找出他做事方式的細(xì)節(jié)。仔細(xì)觀察。認(rèn)真學(xué)習(xí)他的工作方式，生活方式和方法。試圖分析他成功背后的品質(zhì)和行為。

4. 以你的發(fā)現(xiàn)為準(zhǔn)繩，開始行動(dòng)

你應(yīng)該把你的發(fā)現(xiàn)轉(zhuǎn)為你的行動(dòng)。你的行動(dòng)將會(huì)縮小你和你榜樣之間的距離。

5. 視你的榜樣現(xiàn)在數(shù)據(jù)和品質(zhì)作為你的目標(biāo)

正如我如上所寫，你的榜樣就是你的標(biāo)桿。所以他所獲得成功和擁有的品質(zhì)就是你要努力追趕的對(duì)象。當(dāng)然，你也不應(yīng)該盲目去湊數(shù)，改造它，讓它適應(yīng)你自己所特有的情況。

6. 盡可能盡快就開始你的效仿之路

確保你不只是坐在那里唱山歌，你應(yīng)該下定決心盡力而為。

也許在你追上榜樣現(xiàn)有的成就時(shí)，你的榜樣仍舊在你的前方，不過對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)沒有任何問題，最重要的是你盡力而為了。